Land of the Lovely Ladies

"Land of the Lovely Ladies" is the ninth episode of the current Don Trek series and is an original episode not based on any other previous Don Trek writing.

Previous episode: Beauty and the Catman

Next episode: The Petrolian Emperor

Synopsis
USS Bonneville, under the command of Capt. Don, stands between an entire planet and it's destruction, but the mission is a secrete that can't be reviled to the crew!

Act One
“Capt. Don, I’m just saying that this not normal,” stated Cmdr. Mike, “the whole ‘look away as I enter the coordinates and lock them in secret’ thing. It’s just not like you.”

                “I know,” responded Capt. Don, “I don’t much care for it myself.”

                “Can you at least tell me who gave you the order?”

                Capt. Don thought for a moment, “Yes I can. It was Adm. Wayne.”

                “I know him,” sighed Cmdr. Mike, “or I know enough about him to know if he contacts I might not even be able to tell you what we talked about. Okay, I get it now. So when can you tell me?”

                “I can tell you when we get there,” answered Capt. Don, “everyone else after we’ve finished our first task.”

                Meanwhile in sickbay Lt. Jenna was undergoing another physical.

                “How many of these do I have to go through?”

                “This might be the last one,” answered Dr. Good Doctor, “if you just relax and get it over with. The more stressed out you are the less likely you’ll pass. Now tell me if you’re still having the dreams.”

                “I’ve not had the dreams in three nights,” answered Lt. Jenna, “but sometimes when I’m still I can still feel its hand on my head petting me.”

                “That’s quite remarkable to tell the truth,” commented Dr. Good Doctor.

                “How so?”

                “Well it takes some patients years to even go a single night without dreams or flashbacks,” answered Good.

                “What about feeling as if my heads being petted?” Lt. Jenna asked.

                “Did he do it often?”

                “Every damn day,” answered Lt. Jenna.

                “Yeah, that’s going to take some time,” answered Dr. Good Doctor, “but what do you expect after ten years? We’ve gone through this for almost a month now and you’re doing fine. I’m not ready to release you for full duty…”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “What, really?!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Calm down Jenna,” ordered Dr. Good Doctor, “but I will release you for limited duty strictly in the lab. No flex time on the bridge, nothing stressful. In fact I would prefer if you went back ten years in text and video and started catching up in your field. Oh and one more thing, I want you to spend three hours a day on the recreation deck. You know, get into some positive holograms.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Sure doc, I’m on it.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Alsowhile in the dining room many crew members were curious about the mission and no one had any real information.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I don’t know about you all but I think we are going to battle,” offer Lt. Aaron.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “What makes you say that,” asked Lt. Tommy, “don’t you think we’d be doing drills?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Of course not,” answered Lt. Aaron, “because then we might know what we’re getting into!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Lt. Solok walked in right in the middle of Lt. Aaron’s statement and added, “it is not logical to speculate on such matters, so I do not.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “You don’t understand what it’s like not to know then,” countered Lt. Aaron.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “On the contrary I do understand,” corrected Lt. Solok, “it’s just not logical to speculate.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “What if the captain ordered you to do so?” asked Lt. Tommy.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Then I would follow orders,” answered Solok.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Easy for you to say,” laughed Lt. Aaron.

<p class="MsoNormal">

Act Two
''“Capt. Don and Cmdr. Mike to the bridge,”'' announced the voice of Ensign Emily.

<p class="MsoNormal">                Both of the senior officers made their way to the bridge, Capt. Don knowing exactly why and Cmdr. Mike knowing he would soon find out.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Lt. Tommy, hit the preprogramed course compensator, now,” order Capt. Don.

<p class="MsoNormal">                Right as he hit it the USS Bonneville shook and shifted to the point that the inertial dampeners has a hard time compensating for the movement.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Lt. Solok start monitoring whatever comes on your station, only tell me if it’s critical or not,” ordered Capt. Don, “I need to know nothing else and everything you see is classified.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Capt. Don we’re receiving a message that is for Cmdr. Mike and your eyes only,” reported Ensign Emily.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “We’ll take it in my office.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Capt. Don and Cmdr. Mike went into the captain’s ready room to do the exclusive captainy and commandery thing that only they could do, see a prerecorded message from Adm. Wayne explaining the next part of the mission.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Don and Mike, I assume it’s you Mike and that Don didn’t have to kill you and promote someone in your place. What you two are about to partake in is both important and fun. I want you both to remember that no matter how much fun you’re having the important part of the mission must be completed. You’re about to beam down to Sexica, and in Sexica they like to have a good time. I suggest you have a good time while you’re there but remember that if your mission fails Sexica will be destroyed by its enemies. Mike, Don will fill you in on the rest. You are two lucky sons of bitches!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “This place is real?” asked Cmdr. Mike.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Apparently so,” answered Capt. Don, “but some fifty years ago their place in space was revealed and they were left open to attack.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Who the hell would attack them?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “The Klingons were the ones,” answered Capt. Don, “and you’ll see why when we get down there. First we need to get the cargo, so let’s go to the cargo bay.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Capt. Don and Cmdr. Mike went down to the cargo bay and both entered their own special codes and then Capt. Don entered another one. The classified storage vault opened and Capt. Don took a containment stabilized package out of it.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Okay, now we have to go to engineering and get Mr. Bourbon,” said Capt. Don, “we’ll need him to install this.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                The two officers went to engineering and stepped into the chief engineer’s office.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Lt. Cmdr. Bourbon,” stated Capt. Don, “you are needed, please transfer command of engineering and come with us.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Aye sir.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                The three officers then went to the transporter room and Capt. Don instructed the transporter officer to leave the room. He then entered a series of codes and stepped upon the transporter pad.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Leave all weapons and communication devices here,” ordered Capt. Don.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “What if something happens and we need to get back on the ship?” asked Cmdr. Mike.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “When we have completed the mission and reported to the proper place the ship will beam us back,” answered Capt. Don. “If we fail, the ship will leave without us and we will be left there to suffer their doom. Do you both understand?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Not quite sir,” answered Mr. Bourbon, “but I’m willing to help if I’m needed.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Yeah,” answered Cmdr. Mike, “I’m ready.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Step up, when all three of us are on our pads it will energize.”

<p class="MsoNormal">

Act Three
When the three officers beamed down to the planet of Sexica they were amazed at what they saw.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Is that what I think it is,” asked Mr. Bourbon, “mountains of pure dilithium crystal?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Yes it is Mr. Bourbon,” answered Capt. Don, “and now you can see why the Klingons would want to attack and occupy this place.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Yeah,” agreed Cmdr. Mike, “you also get quite the tranquil feeling come over you the moment you materialize.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Sure, it’s a great feeling,” admitted Capt. Don, “but not one strong enough to stop you from killing anyone who would stand in your way and taking all of their resources.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Right then three very sexy women came out of the door of a very large building with print none of the men could read. They were all dressed very sexily and came to the three officers and greated them with kisses and hugs.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Välkommen till vår värld Starfleet officerarna, tillåter oss att ge dig njutning bortom dina drömmar,” said the woman who had just embraced Capt. Don.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Did any of you catch that,” asked Capt. Don, “because I didn’t?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “No,” answered the other two men.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I’m sorry, there must be a problem with the universal translators,” explained Capt. Don, “because we can’t understand you.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Vi förstår dig bra. Oroa dig inte, vi kommer att uppfylla alla dina behov tills den spetsiga dags,” answered the woman and then she added, “Kom med oss.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Capt. Don followed the woman who tugged on his hand and the other four followed them as they went into a great hall. Inside the hall there were many women and men all dressed in a very provocative manner and Cmdr. Mike smiled wide when he noticed there seemed to be many women making eyes at him.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Placera objektet här, kommer det att vara säker förrän det är dags, nu kommer du att vara tenderade att. Det är vårt sätt” said the woman as she pulled Capt. Don along to the place that they had set aside for their cargo.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Are you sure it’ll be safe there?” asked Cmdr. Mike.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I sure hope so,” answered Capt. Don as he inspected the site.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Aye sir,” interjected the Scottish-Tennessean engineer Mr. Bourbon, “that’s a biometric safe. It looks a lot prettier than anyone I’d ever seen before but whoever puts that container in is the only one who will get it out.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Det är sant, kommer det att vara trygga här,” agreed the women as she shook her head up and down.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “When is the appointed time?” asked Capt. Don as he pointed at a large circular object on a wall that looked like it could be a clock.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Vi vet inte, vet vi aldrig. Nu låt oss gärna dig,” she answered, but not one of the three knew what she said.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I understand that this is frustrating Capt. Don,” said Cmdr. Mike, “but I’ve got a feeling this is how things are ran down here. Maybe we should just go with it?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Yes, you’re right,” answered Don, “It seems to be going to plan, but there was nothing in the read up or the talk I had with Adm. Wayne that would indicate that our universal translator wouldn’t work. I’m not worried about things not going to plan now, but what happens if things don’t go to plan later. We all know communication is essential in such cases. Let’s just go with it for now.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                  “Du förstår inte oss, men vi förstår dig. Låt oss visa dig något som du kommer att förstå,” said the beautiful woman as she pulled a knot that let lose her clothes, the others did too, and stood before Capt. Don naked.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Yeah, I’m starting to understand this place,” commented Cmdr. Mike as the women before him started to remove his uniform.

<p class="MsoNormal">

Act Four
“Any day now the portal will open and we can attack and conquer the planet of Dilithium Mountains,” growled the commander of the Klingon battleship Kerpow.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I don’t believe it will be there,” said his first officer, “this place is a myth.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I won’t have that talk on my ship,” answered the commander, “I’m Cmdr. Kachew, son of Docho of the house of Doch and will have my glory!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Very well,” growled the first officer.

<p class="MsoNormal">                Meanwhile on the bridge of the USS Bonneville Lt. Solok was in command and everything was pleasant and peaceful. Too pleasant and peaceful for the crew to handle because all new projects were put on hold and only projects that started before the mission were allowed to continue. Then there was a noise, an unexpected noise.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Lt. Solok,” reported Ensign Emily as she took her communications piece out of her ear, “I’ve got to leave the bridge.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Why?” asked Lt. Solok.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I can’t say,” she answered, “I was given orders by the computer but they’re classified.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Ensign Emily then left the bridge and entered the turbolift. She did not give the lift any instructions, it just operated. She thought, ‘how could the turbolift know I need to go to the transporter room?’ but it did. When she arrived at the appropriate deck she followed her orders and stood on a pad. A few moments later she was transported to the planet’s surface.

<p class="MsoNormal">                Currentwhile back on the Klingon battleship Kerpow excitement was brewing as the very fabric of space and time seemed to be changing before them.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “It’s happening right before our eyes,” exclaimed Cmdr. Kachew, “soon we will be legends!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Why don’t we go through now?” asked his first officer.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Doychta, you are a strong and powerful warrior,” answered Cmdr. Kachew, “but even your strength is nothing compared the twisting of time and space. If we went in there this battleship would be torn apart and us with it. We will bide our time and soon we will pass through and revel in glorious victory for the Empire!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Kaplah!” the entire bridge crew yelled.

<p class="MsoNormal">                Concurrentwhile on Sexica Ensign Emily was being greeted by a welcoming party of her own.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Välkommen till Sexica medan din ankomst är oväntat att det är välkomna, kom med dina andra shipmates i vårt välkomnande ritual medan vi väntar på spetsiga tid,” offered the man who came to great her.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Your language,” responded Ensign Emily, “it’s long dead, no one speaks it, only academics. Men jag tog det efter att ha läst om forntida jord mytologier. Är du riktigt, är du där myterna ifrån?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                The man responded that some of them, Earth myths, might have come from this land and that the land must have known she could be of help and that’s why it called the ship, he then pulled her arm to join the others. When they got inside the building labeled with the words “Chamber of Samhörighet” translated Chamber of Togetherness she was a little shocked to see everyone naked and enjoying each other to varying degrees. She was a little more shocked when the man she was with disrobed and then slowly disrobed her. Ensign Emily was shocked but she did not protest. She asked what was going on and he told her everything. She wasn’t sure if it was the openness that drew her in or the general euphoric feeling the place gave her but she embraced the man and they kissed, her hands running all over his body and the like.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “This is wonderful,” started Emily, “Åh, jag är så ledsen, min upphetsning gör mig att glömma att tala ditt språk.” He answered her and she replied, “Oh, you can understand me, good! I’m sorry but your language is difficult and I speak it rarely.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                At the same time-while on the Klingon battleship excitement was high but in a different way.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “The opening is almost big enough, soon we will fly the Kerpow into that opening and take the planet Mountains of Dilithium!” yelled Cmdr. Kachew.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Should we engage the cloaking device?” asked the first officer Doychta.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Yes,” answered Cmdr. Kachew, “they will never see the Kerpow coming! HA HA HA HA!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                At the same time-ish, but not in the same plane, hours had passed along on Sexica. Capt. Don, Cmdr. Mike, Mr. Bourbon, and Ensign Emily were wrapped up in a continuum of pleasure, the combination of physical, sexual, emotional, mental, and forth plane pleasure and satisfaction. It was the feeling that comes from sharing everything completely with everyone at the same time.

<p class="MsoNormal">                The women that Capt. Don was with first came back to him and said, “Now a proper welcome to Sexica, now that we can both understand each other. I’m Suanna of Sexica and now you are Capt. Don of Sexica, we are one, we are all one.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Are the universal translators working now?” asked Capt. Don as he looked deep into the eyes of Suanna.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Nothing has change,” answered Suanna, “everything is as it was. Now you are of Sexica and you can communicate with all that is Sexica. When you arrived something was wrong with your technology and we could understand you but you couldn’t understand us. With time you would have been joined with us and it all would have been clear but you were worried and too tense, you could not join Sexica and Sexica could not join you.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “So how did you make it happen?” asked Don.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Sexica sensed your distress and called upon your ship,” Suanna explained, “when Sexica discovered your crewmember Ensign Emily had studied our language as it appears in ancient Earth mythologies he summoned her here.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Capt. Don was surprised.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Close your eyes Capt. Don of Sexica,” whispered Suanna as she slowly joined with him once again. “Reach out for your crew member and feel her presents.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Capt. Don did as she said and when he had a hard time finding anyone in the sea of souls Suanna focused with him. Not long after that he could visualize Ensign Emily and he could feel her joy and to a lesser extent feel her pain, but he could not make out what caused that pain.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “What you’re feeling is your ‘real’ world,” explained Suanna of the pain, “she will have felt yours too, but it’s tiny in comparison with the joy you’re in now, isn’t it?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Yes.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Because you’re of Sexica you now must know that the appointed time has arrived, you must take the source that you brought to the ancient place and restore our land,” shared Suanna of Sexica.

<p class="MsoNormal">                Capt. Don and Suanna arose and walked toward the biometric safe and they noticed that Cmdr. Mike and his guide, Mr. Bourbon and his guide, as well as Ensign Emily and her guide joined them at the safe. Capt. Don was about to reach in and get the container but he stopped.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Suanna, shouldn’t we get dressed?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “To be of Sexica is not to be dressed hiding yourself and keeping secrets,” she explained, “it’s to be one with Sexica.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Capt. Don nodded and grabbed the container. Then as if everyone knew where they were going, and as if they always had, they walked across the giant room and approached a fountain. The fountain was large but the water flow was very week.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Oh no,” sighed Cmdr. Mike, “what happens if the water stops?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                His guide Kelianica turned toward him and put her hand on his face, in that moment he knew.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “How’s what’s in that container going to help?” Cmdr. Mike.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “It’s pure Earth water,” answered Capt. Don, “the existence of Sexica is dependent upon the selfless goodwill of another world. We must offer and they must not give anything in return.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “It happened long ago,” Suanna explained, “another Starfleet ship was nearby when a vessel of peace and good will came to bring us an offering and a ship of war called a battleship from a race called the Klingons blew it out of space. That other Starfleet ship pushed the Klingons back out of our time and space and managed to save most of the crew and their gift before they perished. Since then you’ve been our saviors asking nothing in return.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                The water waned down to its last drop.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “The time is now,” announced Capt. Don as he opened the container and poured the small vial of Earth water onto the fountain and they waited.

<p class="MsoNormal">

Act Five
The Klingon battleship Kapow hung cloaked in space before the wide expanding opening into Sexica’s space and time ready to attack and conquer her for glory and dilithium.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “The opening is at its widest, attack!” order Cmdr. Kachew.

<p class="MsoNormal">                The Klingon battleship started to fly into the opening but the changes in space and time caused the cloak to deactivate. Simultaneously on the Bridge of the USS Bonneville there was still virtual silence. In fact no one would have noticed the Klingon ship coming into the pocket of space had they not been glancing at the right screen at the right time.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Lt. Solok, there is a Klingon ship decloaking nearby,” reported Lt. Tommy.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Red Alert,” order Lt. Solok, but nothing happened.

<p class="MsoNormal">                Lt. Tommy pressed a series of buttons and nothing happened. For a moment everyone on the bridge had a look of panic on their faces, except Lt. Solok of course.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Oh,” reported Lt. Tommy, “wait, the Kilingon vessel, it’s gone!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                In a completely differentwhile down on the planet below the away team watched as the last drop of Earth water fell into the now flowing waterfall.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Now the fountain is restored,” declared Capt. Don.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I guess this means we go back,” asked Cmdr. Mike, “seeing that the mission is done?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “You never have to leave,” answered Kelianica, “you’re Sexica now.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “But I do,” sighed Cmdr. Mike.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “No you don’t,” answered Capt. Don, “you can stay. Anyone that is on this mission, who comes down to Sexica can stay, it’s in the mission outline that you weren’t allowed to read.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Cmdr. Mike looked down and shook his head, “I can’t stay, I’m not done out there.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “We understand,” replied Kelianica.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “But I can,” answered Ensign Emily, “I need this place.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Capt. Don walked over to Lt. Emily and took her hand and in an instant he knew why she needed to stay, he understood the full extent of what the pain IS that he felt when they were connected in the continuum. They embraced and Capt. Don whispered, “I understand.”

<p class="MsoNormal">

Epilog
In dining room of the USS Bonneville Capt. Don, Cmdr. Mike, and Mr. Bourbon ate with a great portion of the crew.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “So can you tell us what this mission was all about Capt. Don,” asked Lt. Aaron.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “There are some details that have to remain classified,” answered Capt. Don, “but there are a few things I can tell you.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I’ve been waiting for this,” commented Lt. Tommy.

<p class="MsoNormal">                Lt. Solok added, “I would be lying if I said I was not slightly curious myself captain.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Well let’s just say that this mission, the one we just completed, it involved fighting Klingons and saving a planet and its entire population,” confessed Capt. Don. “Come on Cmdr. Mike we’ve got something to do.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                The captain and commander walked through the ship till they got to the junior officer quarters and arrived at Ensign Emily’s room. Capt. Don put his hand on the door and bowed his head.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Are you ever going to be able to tell me why Ensign Emily stayed on Sexica?”

<span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">                    Capt. Don, “maybe, I don’t know, maybe….”

Background Information

 * The "Land of the Lovely Ladies" planet Sexica is kind of inspired by Gaia of "The Foundation Series" by Issac Asimov.


 * In both Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation, and Star Trek Voyager there were missions were the captain could not tell their crew what the mission was like Capt. Don can't here.


 * Adm. Wayne is inspired by a friend of Don's in high school before he came up with Don Trek and is another that did not appear in the original series of writing joining Paul and Kurt.


 * Lt. Jenna is still suffering from the effects of being a slave to the Catman. This shows that though Don Trek can be like TOS of Star Trek it will also allow for character development.


 * The chief engineer Mr. Bourbon is a Lt. Commander.


 * This is yet another situation were the universal translators fail to operate as designed.


 * Sexica itself can communicate with the USS Bonneville's computers and bring Ensign Emily to the planet.


 * Ensign Emily speaks the Sexica language and says that it's a dead one that only academics can speak, like Latin.


 * The people of Sexica and the away team communicate via sexual intercourse where they are all a part of a collective and can share each-others minds.


 * Capt. Don and crew can access each-other through the collective orgy but they lack the skill and Capt. Don must have the help of his partner to feel Ensign Emily.


 * When connected to the mass consciousness Capt. Don learns why Ensign Emily wants to stay, and needs to stay, on Sexica, but he reveals it to no one.


 * The Klingons are the ones who put Sexica in it's current position with the Federation. In a way they've ensured that the dilithium will not end up in the hands of the Federation by doing so.


 * When writing this episode Don wanted to find as many ways to say "meanwhile" while not saying meanwhile so you get weird words like "alsowhile."


 * While there are Klingons in this episode there seems to be no reference to the "White Horse" theme.


 * Any crew member that became "of Sexica" could stay on Sexica. It's a theme that Don plans to revisit.

Inspired by
The Star Trek trademarks, logos, and related names are owned by CBS Studios Inc., and are used under "fair use" guidelines.
 * Star Trek, created by Gene Roddenberry.
 * Don Trek is not endorsed, sponsored, or affiliated with Paramount Pictures, CBS Studios Inc. or the "Star Trek" franchise.