Beauty and the Catman

"Beauty and the Catman" is the eighth episode in the Don Trek series. It is an original episode not based on any previous Don Trek writings. Partial creative credit for this story goes to Mike Grayum and Jenna Thompson as elements of the story are based on a true event.

Previous episode: The Reagan Centuries

Next episode: Land of the Lovely Ladies

Synopsis
The USS Bonneville is in orbit around a seemingly peaceful planet with inviting beaches, but is there a hidden danger?

The Story
“Captain’s log 9503.21: It’s my day off, but we all know days off don’t mean much when you’re the captain of a starship. While I get to do most things uninterrupted, like watch a movie or spend time on the recreation deck enjoying a hologram, I can still be pulled into duty at any time. Sometimes it’s something quite mundane, other times it’s something more along the lines of an emergency, today it was neither. We’ve entered a star system with a tropical class M planet, the initial survey shows it to be quite safe, and although I’m still on my day off I promise to report any interesting finding I might discover on the beach. ”

Act One
“Don’t worry Mike you have the day off tomorrow,” smiled Capt. Don, “you can enjoy the beach then.”

                “It’s okay and I’m looking forward to a nice day at the beach with some beer, a spoon, and a jar of nutella,” Cmdr. Mike said dreamily, “besides you’re the ocean tester. We’ll know if it’s safe to swim if you come out alive!”

                “It’s good to know I can still be useful on my day off,” laughed Capt. Don, “looks like this landing parties ready, energize!”

                When Capt. Don and the official away team materialized they were all quite pleased with the look and smell of the planet.

                “You guys have a good time scanning stuff,” smiled Capt. Don, “you know where to find me.”

                Capt. Don walked down a natural trail to the gold sandy beach and was amazed that the sand felt like silk, he was told it would but that didn’t take away the awed feeling. He put down a collapsible chair, took a sun protection pill, and opened a cooler up that had seven cans of ice cold Cochrane’s Best Brew.

                “This is perfect,” he said as he opened the first can, “I could spend a week here.”

                From time to time the captain would see a member of his crew walk by doing their jobs, some of them would take their breaks walking the shore, and he would chat with a few about what strange plant or animal they'd discovered. It was during one of these conversations that Capt. Don was resolved to go into the mountains and see the lion like creatures and the way they hunted their prey.

                “Sir,” told Lt. Paul, “the mountain lions here look like house cats back on Earth but they’re huge!”

                Not long after that conversation Capt. Don decided to go for a swim. After grabbing his goggles, snorkel, and mask he set out to see what the ocean had in store for him. It was a place of wonder! Just like anywhere with ocean life there was a similarity to it but a uniqueness all the same. Capt. Don was sure that this was already one of his favorite oceans.

                “Help me…”

                The captain almost stopped swimming in his tracks, was he really hearing a call for help? He swam to the surface; there was no one in sight. He shook it off and kept swimming.

                “Help me…”

                There was no mistaking it this time, Capt. Don had heard something and he was sure of it this time.

                “Help me…”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Now he had his bearings and was sure the voice was coming from just south of where he was, out by the rocky peninsula. Capt. Don swam back toward the shore and decided to walk down to the rocky outcropping.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “What could be there, who could be there,” he wondered aloud, “one of my crew?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Capt. Don walked over to his spot on the beach and put a shirt on, grabbed a water, and strapped a phaser belt around his waist.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Better safe than sorry,” he said to himself.

<p class="MsoNormal">                After a thirty minute walk Capt. Don was at the base of the rocky peninsula, it was much wider than he thought and had a great expanse of flat grassy land with a few groupings of trees. The place was full of grazing animals in small groups here and there, none as dangerous as some of the animals described to him earlier. Still he was cautious and thought for a minute to call in for back up.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “This is nothing,” he said aloud, “I was hearing noises that sounded like what I thought I was hearing. There’s no one here.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Five steps later Capt. Don hit something, a wall! When he hit it the device cloaking it scrambled to compensate for the intrusion. Capt. Don reached for the communicator on the phaser belt with one hand and the phaser with the other and flipped the communicator open.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Capt. Don to Bonneville ,” he called out.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “This is Bonneville,” replied Ensign Emily, “what do you need sir?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “It seems this planet migh…” Capt. Don was hit on the head and knocked out.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Sir, sir!” called out Emily and then she followed up with, ''“RED ALERT! Something’s happened to the captain!”''

<p class="MsoNormal">

Act Two
Capt. Don started to wake up his vision was blurry after being hit on the head. He looked around and everything seemed a bit dark with some light here and there. It didn’t take long before he realized he was gasping for breaths or that the place where he was tied up smelled awful.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">“Where am I and who are you?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                He was alone so there was no answer. He tried to struggle against his binds but that was of no use.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “God, that smell is awful!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                As his vision continued to get better it became clear to him that he was in a jail cell. He must have been hit really good too; he didn’t remember getting dragged or any of the scrapes. Then out of a dark door came a voice.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I’m sorry you’ve been treated so poorly by my men,” said the mannish voice, “they did not know if you were here to do harm to me or my companion.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Excuse me,” started Capt. Don, “all I know is that I heard a voice when I was swimming in the ocean; I came to an empty field and hit a wall.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                The mannish voice laughed and said, “I’m so sorry about that, it’s a passive form a protection.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Oh then you’re a pacifist,” snarked Capt. Don, “but I guess your people aren’t?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “No, they are hunters,” answered the voice. “I could hunt but I’ve long since been quite ineffective at it, since the change.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “The change?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Yes I was once much like them but then the change happened. A blaze fell from the sky and hit the hunting lands, a great energy washed over the land and what I am now was born,” said the mannish sounding creature as he stepped into the light. “I turned into this!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                    Capt. Don was a little freaked out by what he’d seen; the man was no man but a catman! A mean looking nasty ass catman!

<p class="MsoNormal">                “RRRRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Wow,” said Capt. Don as he answered the roar, “so this is a planet, a planet of catmen?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Sort of, others look kinda like me but I’m the only one that evolved with the explosion,” he answered, “well evolved fully. The rest are man like cats of different type. Either way it’s of no concern to you. What is of concern to you is that I now own you!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Hold on meow man,” snapped Capt. Don, “now I may not seem like I’m in a position to tell you to screw off but I’m gonna!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “No, you will be cleaned and introduced to your mate so that you may make me more pets!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Capt. Don started to lose his sight again, and then he fell asleep, only this time there was no hit to the head. When he awoke latter he was seemingly free and quite clean. Seemingly free till he felt the restraint on his neck.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Welcome to my parlor pet,” said Catman, “don’t worry I’ll name you soon enough.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I have a name," answered the captive captain, “I’m Capt. Don of the USS Bonneville, and you’ve screwed up big time!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Yes, my other pet said something about like that, or something equally stupid,” laughed Catman, “but she got over it. The poor thing had such hope too, her crew member searched and searched for her and never found her.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Where is she and when did this happen?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Well it happened 50 years ago, pet, and you will meet her soon enough,” then he roared, “your mate is on her way now and we will eat and watch you make babies.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Right then two other standing cat-like men led in a brunette humanoid female wearing nothing but a metal bikini. She did not look happy but she did not resist the pull of her keepers. They opened the enclosure Capt. Don was in and he tried to jump out and that’s when he found out the thing around his neck was a wireless shock collar!

<p class="MsoNormal">                “AHHHHHH!” screamed Capt. Don.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Don’t even think about escaping, some very strong emotions will trigger the shock,” said the woman who was now in the cage with him.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I’m Capt. Don of the starship Bonneville,” he informed his fellow captive.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I was Ensign Jenna of the USS Edsel,” she responded, “but now I’m Pookie.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “The USS Edsel? How? That ship was destroyed in a temporal experiment explosion ten years ago,” questioned Capt. Don, “how could you have been here for fifty years? Did you fly through time?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “No, we abandoned ship on 8501.10.5,” answered Ensign Jenna, “when the Edsel blew up it sent my escape pod flying through space when it landed here. Oh and the way this planet orbits its sun it makes five rotations in one of our years.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “So where did this guy get all of this technology?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “The best I can tell is that it was already hear when he ‘evolved’ because he’s inept at using it,” Ensign Jenna then added, “for the most part.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “That might be to our advantage…”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “RRRRRRROOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR, you may stop the socialization and commence the matting Pookie and,” Catman paused, “you need a name don’t you, new pet?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I’m quite happy with the one I’ve got, thank you,” answered Capt. Don, “and if you think I’m going to mate with this woman you’re insane,” he then looked over at Ensign Jenna and added, “not that I would be opposed to having sex with you, it’s just the whole pet slave thing just doesn’t seem to be on our terms.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “No, I get it, no offense,” answered Ensign Jenna.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Do you find fault with Pookie?” asked Catman.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “First, her name is Jenna and she’s not a pet, she’s a Starfleet officer,” snapped Capt. Don, “second, no she is very desirable, I’m just not going to mate with anyone for your enjoyment or benefit. Oh and third, what is your name?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “It’s not for the pet to know the master’s name,” answered Catman, “besides why would you need it, just screw her!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I need it because I like to know a person’s name when I’m choking them!” yelled Capt. Don.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Not a wise move,” caution Ensign Jenna.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Why? AWWWWWWWWWWEWWEEEEWUUUUUUHH!” yelled Capt. Don in pain as he fell to the floor and groaned, “duly noted.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Look here,” said Catman, “she’s not been the perfect pet but she really could have been worse, she could’ve been like you. So I’ll have you know that if you don’t fuck her I will kill you.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Capt. Don was about to respond to Catman’s last threat when the nasty smell got even worse.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “What’s that dreadful smell,” asked Capt. Don, “it’s gotten worse!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “You don’t want to know,” answered Ensign Jenna, “but it’s basically cat piss.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “This is your last chance,” yelled Catman, “commence the fuckining or die!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I don’t think I could even get it up with that awful stench!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Catman signaled to one of his cat-man like henchmen and he raised his gun.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Then you will die,” ordered Catman, “and you will do so without a name!”

<p class="MsoNormal">

Act Three
“Cmdr. Mike, I have taken the scans of the planet’s surface and analyzed them,” reported Lt. Solok, “it appears that there is a structure where Capt. Don’s last transmission originated from.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “That’s impossible,” challenged Cmdr. Mike, “I was there myself, I walked the field on that peninsula, and there was nothing but grazing animals there!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Yes, I was there with you Cmdr. Mike, but there is one there nonetheless.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “So what are our options Lt. Solok?” asked Cmdr. Mike.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “We cannot beam him out,” report Solok, “our only plan is to take the structure by land and rescue the captain that way.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Why can’t we just weaken the dampening field with the ship’s phasers?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I thought that might work too,” answered Lt. Solok, “but it seems that the materials that the structure was made out of have some kind of natural transporter damping effect.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Then it’s set,” said Cmdr. Mike, “tell Major Kirt to ready his unit, we’re going to take that structure and get Capt. Don back. Lt. Solok you have the con.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Cmdr. Mike, Major Krit, and the USS Bonneville Marine unit took a group of shuttlecraft down to the surface of the planet with no haste whatsoever.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Cmdr. Mike,” started Major Kirt, “you know there’s no reason for you to put yourself at risk, we can handle this mission.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Yeah, I know you can,” answered Cmdr. Mike, “but I’m coming anyway.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Suit yourself sir.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                When she shuttles landed upon the beach near the clearing Maj. Kirt directed his Marines to their places and then he got a bazooka looking device out of a long metallic case.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Cmdr. Mike, this is quite the device. It shoots five mini-photon torpedo like probes over a designated area and when they detonate they will reveal any structure that is being cloaked.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Why the hell don’t we use that to detect cloaked Klingon and Romulan ships?” asked Cmdr. Mike.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Because they don’t work in space,” answered Maj. Kirt, “they need oxygen and lots of it. After the structure is exposed our eyes in the sky will give us the information we need to storm that place. Hopefully they’ll tell us where the captain is too.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Maj. Kirt fired the device and it looked like fireworks reaching toward the sky. When one reached its destination it waited for the others to take up theirs and then there was a flash, it was bright but had no blinding effect on any of the Marines or Cmdr. Mike. In less than a minute technical data and schematics appeared on both Maj. Kirt’s and Cmdr. Mike’s data screens.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Wow, this is some structure,” Maj. Kirt thought aloud, “it’ll be a few seconds before my men can… oh here it is! We’ll attack from here, here, and there. You wanna come with me through the front door?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Hell yeah!” exclaimed Cmdr. Mike.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Alright then, oh and you see that other dot, right there? That means there are two humans in there,” reported Maj. Kirt. “Let’s move out!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Inside the structure Catman’s henchman was about to pull the trigger and kill Capt. Don when all of the lights and electronics flickered.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “RRRRRROOOOOAAAAAARRRRRR, what was that?” asked Catman.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “My best guess is that it’s Starfleet Marines,” offered Capt. Don, “and if they are willing to let you know they’re here then you can count your time in seconds not minutes.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE,” screamed Catman! “RRRRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRR!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                A few seconds later a door to the chamber flew opened as it was kicked in by a few Starfleet Marines. Catman gave the order to kill them and they attacked.

<p class="MsoNormal">                ''“Maj. Kirt, we’ve found the structures main computer core.”''

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Then shut it down!” ordered Maj. Kirt.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Yes sir!”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Just a moment after the order was given everything but the backup lights went down, all computer panels, all the electro-restrains, everything. Everything but the cat-men’s handheld weapons, they still worked. One of the cat-men raised his weapon to fire it.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Hold your fire,” yelled Cmdr. Mike to a few of the Marines.

<p class="MsoNormal">                Then the cat-man fired, but not at Capt. Don, Ensign Jenna, Cmdr. Mike or the Marines; he fired at Catman who let off a final roar and then died.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “I am Cattow,” said the cat-man, “he was Cattrow, and he is dead now. My kind is free from his slavery.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Oh my God,” said Cmdr. Mike, “I can’t stand it anymore, what is that smell?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “It’s cat piss,” answered Ensign Jenna.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “What are those fans up there for,” asked Cmdr. Mike, “to blow the smell all around the damn castle?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Cattrow forbid us to use the toilets,” said Cattow, “but now that we are free we can embrace both of our cat and humanoid nature and abilities.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Good luck with that,” said Cmdr. Mike.

Epilog
“So it seems that there was a highly technological society that died out over a thousand of our years ago and there are castles like the one I was held captive in all over the planet, but we couldn’t see them because of the cloaking devices,” explained Capt. Don to Lt. Solok.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Yeah and it seems that Cattrow was closest to the impact of whatever hit the planet and caused the evolution or mutation of the cats,” offered Cmdr. Mike, “so he had maybe a few years to figure out things before the others fully changed.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Yet that does not explain how he could use the technology to control his kind but then not use it effectively after that,” mused Lt. Solok.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “No, you’re right,” answered Capt. Don, “but we’ll be here for a good month before we depart, there’s a lot of research to be done and the Cattermanian people asked for our help.”

<p class="MsoNormal">                Lt. Solok asked, “what about the Prime Directive?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “Given the nature of this event, what caused us to get involved, the level of technology that was used, the way these people changed, and how they’ve had contact with many warp faring species; Starfleet has given us the go-ahead to be here and help. You’ve got your work cut out for you Lt. Solok,” said Capt. Don.

<p class="MsoNormal">                “How about you Capt. Don,” asked Lt. Solok, “what do you have planned?”

<p class="MsoNormal">                “First I’ve got to go see Ensign Jenna and let her know she’s activated and that she’ll now be Lt. Jenna,” answered Capt. Don, “then I’m going to finish my damn day off.”

<span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">                     Capt. Don and Cmdr. Mike laughed, “Ha ha hah ahah ha!”

Background Information

 * This story marks the first time a non original Don Trek main character has been introduced to the new Don Trek series. Ensign/Lt. Jenna is someone Don became friends with decades after the original series was written.
 * This story marks the first time in Don Trek where we see the Starfleet Marines. Maj. Kirt is named after one of Don's best friends in his freshman year of high school, a friendship that pre dates Don Trek.
 * This story was inspired by real life events as discussed between Don, Mike, and Jenna. The exact events will not be revealed to protect the innocent.
 * In addition to Maj. Kirt another person from Don's past is the inspiration for Lt. Paul, an officer Capt. Don talks to on the beach. Lt. Paul predates everyone including Kirt, but Maj. Kirt has a more prominate role.
 * Ensign/Lt. Jenna's old ship, the USS Edsel, was destroyed and had to be abandoned, much like the real fiasco that the Edsel car was.
 * The word "fuckining" was taken from the movie "Your Highness" because it made Don laugh.

Inspired by
The Star Trek trademarks, logos, and related names are owned by CBS Studios Inc., and are used under "fair use" guidelines.
 * Star Trek, created by Gene Roddenberry.
 * Don Trek is not endorsed, sponsored, or affiliated with Paramount Pictures, CBS Studios Inc. or the "Star Trek" franchise.