Deep Sleep Station Nine



“Deep Sleep Station Nine” is the second written episode of the Don Trek fan-fiction series written by Don Stevens. From a current production standpoint, and with historical context, it’s the second story but third overall story ever written for DonTrek. For more information see the notes below the story.

Previous episode: The One with the Snails

Next Episode: She Was Just Seventeen

Synopsis
Capt. Don, Cmdr. Mike, and the crew of the USS Bonneville NCC 1975 fight a deadly Klingon enemy in this second episode of the Don Trek series of fan-fic.

Act One
    “Captain’s log stardate 9410.20: We have received orders from Starfleet Command and are enroot to starbase Deep Space Station Hooters'', in the fifth quadrant, to deliver much needed medical supplies and frozen wings. It’s will also serve as a much needed bit of shore leave as we have been working pretty much nonstop for well over a star-month since out launch.”''

''    “Capt. Don I can’t stress how important it is that you arrive in a timely manner,” pleaded Cmdr. Crisco manager of Deep Space Hooters, “this place is more like a Deep Sleep Station than a family restaurant without those desperately needed wings. Oh and we need those band-aids and ace bandages too.”''

    “Cmdr. Crisco I’m doing all I can,” explained Capt. Don. “According to our fuel calculations we’re pushing it as it is. I promise you we will be there no later than originally promised. USS Bonneville out.”

     “I won’t lie Capt. Don, I’m looking forward to the time on Deep Space Hooters myself,” said Cmdr. Mike dreamily. “I don’t know what about that place makes me crave their wings so much, or maybe it’s their cheese cake.”

      “I do not understand the human desire for scantily clad females to deliver hot wings to their tables accompanied by alcoholic beverages,” stated the fully Vulcan Lt. Solok.

   “It’s because they’re perverts Lt. Solok,” offered Lt. Pam.

    “Ha ha ha ha,” Capt. Don and Cmdr. Mike laughed together.

     “We’re picking up a strange impulse emission in our general vicinity,” reported Ensign Tommy.

    “Those findings would be consistent with a Klingon battle cruiser,” added Lt. Solok, “and my scans confirm the emissions.”

     “Shields up, red alert!” ordered Capt. Don.

    “They have to uncloak to fire,” mentioned Cmdr. Mike, “ready battle stations!”

     “They better watch out, there dealing with a top of the line Excelsior-class starship,” boasted Capt. Don, “the USS Bonneville is not paper target or long dead satellite.”

<p class="MsoNormal">    “The battle cruiser is now decloaking,” reported Lt. Solok.

<p class="MsoNormal">     “They mean to fight,” offered Cmdr. Mike.

<p class="MsoNormal">    “The Klingons are hailing us,” announced Lt. Pam.

<p class="MsoNormal">     “Put them on screen,” ordered Capt. Don.

<p class="MsoNormal">     “Este es el barco de   era a Klingon Viper y sabemos lo que su carga es y si no se presenta la vuelta vamos a destruir su nave.”

<p class="MsoNormal">     “Lt. Pam, what the hell did he just say,” asked Capt. Don, “is there something wrong with the universal translator?”

<p class="MsoNormal">     “There’re no error readings or red flashy lights blinking over here Capt. Don.”

<p class="MsoNormal">      “No pruebe mis pacientes porque yo soy un guerrero   era a   poderoso y voy a deleitarse en sus alas de pollo esta noche insignificante Federación hormiga!”

<p class="MsoNormal">     “What the hell? Does anyone on this ship speak Klingon? How can we know what they want, how can we know what to refuse them, or why we are blowing them out of space if we can’t understand a word they’re saying? This is Capt. Don of the USS Bonneville on an important humanitarian mission to deliver medical supplies to a family restaurant that employs scantily clad human females as waitresses. If we can come to an understanding then we won’t have to destroy you and maybe I can buy you a beer,” offered Capt. Don.

<p class="MsoNormal">     “Es un buen día para que te mueras Federación   era a!”

<p class="MsoNormal">     “They are getting ready to fire sir,” offered Lt. Solok.

<p class="MsoNormal">     “Ensign Tommy, fire phasors at the Klingon ship!”

<p class="MsoNormal">     “Yes Capt. Don,” answered Ensign Tommy as he pushed the ‘fire phasors’ button.

<p class="MsoNormal">     “Someone look up the Klingon phrase, ‘die you poopy headed douche-bag,’” ordered Capt. Don

<p class="MsoNormal">     “We seem to be fairly matched with the Klingon ship,” stated Lt. Solok.

<p class="MsoNormal">     Lt. Pam looked up the phrase Capt. Don requested and sent it to the display on the Captain’s chair.

<p class="MsoNormal">    “Teñir tu caca encabezaba DOUCHE-BAG,” barked Capt. Don at the Klingon commander on the screen.

<p class="MsoNormal">      ''“What, what did you just say,” laughed the Klingon Commander, “you just told by to ‘dye my poop headed douche-bag,’ what is that supposed to mean. How does one dye a douche-bag? Ha ha ha ha!”''

<p class="MsoNormal">     “And the asshole speaks English,” smirked Cmdr. Mike.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Lock photon torpedoes and fire Ensign Tommy,” ordered Capt. Don.

<p class="MsoNormal">      “Locked and fired sir!”

<p class="MsoNormal">     “Hoy en día la   era a   era suya Capitán Don, pero un día de mi muerte   era vengada por mi hermano, que estará al mando de un Klingon acorazado llamado El caballo blanco y le traerá la muerte!”

<p class="MsoNormal">    “Is someone recording this shit so we can find out what the hell he is saying later?” asked Capt. Don.

<p class="MsoNormal">    “I am recording and processing all the data,” responded Lt. Camcorder, “and have translated the entire conversation. Do you want to hear it now?”

<p class="MsoNormal">     “Capt. Don,” interrupted Lt. Solok, “the Klingon ship is about to explode but they managed to fire one torpedo at us and we will sustain a direct hit.”

<p class="MsoNormal">    “He says that so calmly,” observed Cmdr. Mike.

<p class="MsoNormal">    “Well he’s a Vulcan,” quipped Capt. Don.

<p class="MsoNormal">    “Prepare for impact!” yelled Ensign Tommy.

<p class="MsoNormal">    The dual impact of parts of the Klingon battleship and the photon torpedo shook the USS Bonneville and its crew to the point where almost everyone fell out of their seats.

<p class="MsoNormal">    “Damage reports are coming in from all decks,” reported Lt. Pam.

<p class="MsoNormal">    “This is Engineer Bourbon from, uh, engineering. We have sustained a direct hit to the matter/antimatter…”

<p class="MsoNormal">    “Lt. Pam,” barked Capt. Don, “get him back on the line!”

<p class="MsoNormal">    “…the short of it is that we have no fuel!”

Act Two
<p class="MsoNormal">“I’ve called this meeting of the command staff to try to come up with ideas,” explained Capt. Don.

<p class="MsoNormal">       “There is a matter mining plant two and a half parsecs,” offered Lt. Solok, “and there is an antimatter plant three parsecs away in the other direction. It would be possible for us to make it to the matter plant and part of the way to the antimatter plant, or to make it to the antimatter plant then leave its orbit and be stranded without the matter.”

<p class="MsoNormal">         “Then we should go to the antimatter plant, because we have all the matter we need here on the ship,” stated Lt. Pam.

<p class="MsoNormal">         The Tennessean-Scottish engineer Mr. Bourbon then corrected her. “No lass, if you mixed unrefined matter with refined antimatter then the whole ship could blow!”

<p class="MsoNormal">         “Then there’s nothing we can do, we have to wait for another Starfleet ship to come and rescue us,” sighed Cmdr. Mike.

<p class="MsoNormal">          “That’s not an option,” declared Capt. Don, “well; I guess it’s an option, but not one I will allow us to suffer. The people on Deep Space Hooters are counting on us to bring them their much needed frozen chicken wings, not to mention the medical supplies. Are there any other options Bourbon?”

<p class="MsoNormal">         “Yes, there’s one more option,” offered Mr. Bourbon, “and it’s bourbon.”

<p class="MsoNormal">         Capt. Don asked, very puzzled, “say again?”

<p class="MsoNormal">        “Bourbon Capt. Don, our option is none other than bourbon itself,” proclaimed the engineer of the same name. “If I can take the residual amounts of matter and antimatter that are still left in the containment tanks and mix the matter with the bourbon, then eject the matter infused bourbon into the matter/antimatter containment field it just might get us enough to sustain a warp jump long enough to get us within transporter range of Deep Space Hooters!”

<p class="MsoNormal">         “Then do it!” Capt. Don ordered and the crew returned to their posts.

<p class="MsoNormal">         “Lt. Camcorder, I’m gonna need your help,” asked Mr. Bourbon, “would ya be will’n to use your internal pathways to better refine the Bourbon before it’s mixed with the matter?”

<p class="MsoNormal">         “It would be an agreeable thing for me to do as only I could get the bourbon distilled to the exacting level it would need to be distilled to,” agreed Lt. Camcorder.

<p class="MsoNormal">         “You better be doing all that you can Capt. Don or I’ll have your career for this! Deep Space Station Hooters OUT!”

<p class="MsoNormal">          “What an ass,” mumbled Capt. Don under his breath. “We need warp speed Mr. Bourbon!”

<p class="MsoNormal">         “If we filter this too fast it could cause Lt. Camcorder’s heads to blow; the four internal ones and the one on top! We are doing the best we can!”

<p class="MsoNormal">      It was the truth; they were doing all they could and Lt. Camcorder’s internal pathways were flooded with bourbon at a capacity that she was never designed to tolerate.

<p class="MsoNormal">       “Mr. Bourbon,” she began, “I do not know what is happening to me. Every system seems to pass diagnostic checks yet the longer the Bourbon is in my system the most I am forgetting about things that have happened over the last day?”

<p class="MsoNormal">         “Yes ma’am,” responded Bourbon, “even though you are an android the alcohol is having a similar effect on you as it would a human. If we don’t finish quickly your recording heads will be affected and so will your data storage units, you could forget everything. You would still function but it would be like you’re starting as a brand new machine. Don’t worry, we’re almost done!”

<p class="MsoNormal">         “Yes,” she informed, “the bourbon is at the optimum purity for the mix. You may now withdraw it from my system and introduce it to the matter.”

<p class="MsoNormal">         “We need warp speed Mr. Bourbon!” barked Capt. Don.

<p class="MsoNormal">         “Any moment now,” Mr. Bourbon replied.

<p class="MsoNormal">Capt. Don was getting very nervous on the bridge of the USS Bonneville as he waited for the all go sign from engineering. He tapped on the indicator light willing it to come on!

<p class="MsoNormal">    “Capt. Don, this is Lt. Camcorder. I am losing my memory of the events that have occurred in the last few hours. I have lost most of the translations I made of the Klingon commander but I must tell you what I know before I forget. He said that, ‘…The White Horse and he will bring you death!’”

<p class="MsoNormal">    “That’s weird.”

<p class="MsoNormal">    “Warp speed NOW Capt. Don!” yelled Mr. Bourbon.

<p class="MsoNormal">    “GO GO GO!”

<p class="MsoNormal">   “Captain’s log stardate 9410.21: Mr. Bourbon and Lt. Camcorder were able to get us warp speed in time to get within transporter range of Deep Space Hooters'' so that they had wings in time for the big space cricket game being broadcast from Alpha Centauri. In addition to that we were able to deliver the medical supplies needed for a medical emergency involving many players of a basketball team whose practice facility was carpeted. Dr. Good Doctor said she’d never seen so many level three rug burns in her entire career. The fuel filtering operation took its toll on Lt. Camcorder, one of her four internal heads were completely destroyed by the process and the greater part of a day erased from her permanent memory. She should still be able to function at peak levels with an extended rest period and tape backups till a new head can be installed. I’m left with one question that perplexes me, ‘…el caballo blanco y le traerá la muerte!’ or ‘…the white horse and he will bring you death.’ Whatever, for now, it’s off to Hooters to drink a nice cold pint of Cochrane’s Best Brew.” ~Capt. Don''

Story and Characters

 * This is the second rewrite of this story for Don Trek and it's based on the third overall story ever written for Don Trek but when Don combined the first two time travel storied into one this became the second overall story by default and good reason.
 * Deep Sleep Station Nine is not Deep Space Nine but a commentary on how slow the Star Trek series Deep Space Nine took to realy get its grove as a series.
 * Deep Sleep Station Nine is not really the name of a space station in Don Trek but Deep Space Hooters is a real place in Don Trek, Deep Sleep Station Nine is what Deep Space Hooters would be without wings available for purchase.
 * The real life people that some of the characters are based on did go to Hooters together in real life Charlotte, North Carolina. They were Don, Mike, Pam, Cameron (Lt. Camcorder), and Tommy and did so after a Star Trek convention.
 * Lt. Pam tells Lt. Solok the reason why human males like to go to Hooters is because they're perverts, this echoes the perceived reality that Don got from the real life Pam when the group dined at Hooters.
 * At that Star Trek convention Tim Russ of Star Trek Voyager signed the ship's roster though the page has been lost it would open up two possibilities for Don Trek: either the real Star Trek character of Tuvok could appear in Don Trek or Tim Russ could appear in Don Trek as a character based on himself. As it's general policy to not have characters, or ships, from the real Star Trek series meet with Don Trek characters this could be an exception given the nature of the real life encounter where the signing of the ship's roster did create a connection with a character of a real Star Trek series through an actor from the show. This would not hold true with any other actors from the Star Trek world as they do not have that same connection as Tim Russ did with Don Trek.
 * Pam, the inspiration for Lt. Pam, approached Tim Russ outside of the autograph line and got a hug from the actor.
 * Don, the inspiration for Capt. Don, participated in the costume contest in his Don Trek uniform and made it into the later rounds even though the Don Trek uniform was a parody uniform and not an official Star Trek uniform or costume.
 * Cmdr. Mike likes cheese cake. It's unknown if the real life Mike likes cheese cake or not.
 * Cmdr. Crisco is a parody name after Sisko and is not Capt. Crisco because Sisko was not yet a captain on Deep Space Nine. They are NOT the same person.
 * Some Klingons like to shoot dead satellites as is shown in Star Trek V. We know this because we have seen Star Trek V but that does not mean that this story takes place in that time. Given the stardate in the story this takes place shortly after the The One with the Snails. It must be common knowledge that Klingons do such a thing then.
 * The Klingons speak Spanish in Don Trek. Though the reality is that they really speak Klingon, the may we manifest it in Don Trek is via Spanish. All alien races that are the "bad guys" in Don Trek will speak a different Earth language to add to the silly nature and a bit of mystery to the plot.
 * The universal translator is not working but Lt. Pam says, "There’re no error readings or red flashy lights blinking over here..." when reporting on their operational status. This will be an ongoing problem.
 * When Capt. Don asks, "Does anyone on this ship speak Klingon?" it's to highlight the absurdity that Lt. Uhura would need a Klingon dictionary to speak Klingon in Star Trek VI. It made for a funny scene and is enjoyable to watch but still silly.
 * Capt. Don asks someone to look up a phrase in Klingon and when the Klingon hears it he laughs at the poor translation. This is to highlight the faults of current translators like Google Translate that, is used to do the translations for Don Trek, and often get syntax and grammar incorrect making for silly phrases when people who actually know the language read it.
 * When the command staff meets and they're debating what to do they have the challenge of how far they can go on their current fuel supply, this debate mirrors some word problems found in many math classes.
 * Getting Deep Space Hooters wings is more important than medical supplies in this story.
 * Cmdr. Crisco's bad attitude is much like those of visiting people of authority on Star Trek or Star Trek: The Next Generation when dealing with Kirk/Picard and crew.
 * In this story Star Trek fuel technology is once again put to the test and "explained" further in that on some level it's explained how matter and antimatter work or do not work in their refined and unrefined states.
 * Bourbon can be filtered via an android's "organs" to be mixed with matter to be used as fuel to cause a matter/antimatter reaction to power a starship temporarily.
 * Andriods, at least of Lt. Camcorder's type do not get drunk in the same way humans or LCDR Data did in Star Trek: The Next Generation's, The Naked Now, but it does cause her to forget data/memories and damages her internal recording "heads."
 * Lt. Camcorder, based on video cassette recorder technology, has four internal recording heads like a four head VCR.
 * Doctor Good Doctor, who is based on a girl Don knew in high school named Danielle, does not appear in the story proper but is referred to in the captain's log.
 * Cochrane’s Best Brew is a premium beer based on Milwaukee’s Best beer.
 * Dr. Melanie is still aboard the USS Bonneville even though she is not featured in this story. This highlights how each episode of Don Trek will or will not have to carry anything over from one episode to another when it comes to characters and their development much like in Star Trek and Star Trek: The Next Generation, but character deaths are carried over or permanent as in the founding series and the spin off, unless of course it serves a plot or story point to bring them back like Spock in Star Trek III or Tasha Yar in Yesterday's Enterprise.
 * It's clearly stated that the USS Bonneville is an Excelsior-class starship in the actual story.
 * Cricket is still being played in the future professionally unlike Baseball as stated in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
 * The mentioning of basketball being played is not to imply that professional basketball is still being played, though that may be the case, but that the sport itself is still being played.
 * The mentioning that players were hurt playing basketball on a carpeted court goes back to Don's days playing basketball with a Church of Mormon team who's court was carpeted with the court markings being intergraded into the carpeting and how falls could result in rug burn.
 * The Klingon dialog and the final captain's log entry imply that this story could have another part sometime in the future.

Artwork

 * The cover art for this story was created using Paint.net using six different photos, one of the "Bonneville," space, Deep Space Hooters, the Hooters logo, the Klingon Battleship, and the photon torpedo.

Reception

 * Don is happy with this version of the story and expects no further changes other than edits for errors and boo boos.
 * The link posting this story on the facebook page Vulcans, and Time Lords, and Wraith - Oh, My got at least one like.
 * The poster art was shared a few times a got a few likes on facebook.

Inspired by
The Star Trek trademarks, logos, and related names are owned by CBS Studios Inc., and are used under "fair use" guidelines.
 * Star Trek, created by Gene Roddenberry.
 * Don Trek is not endorsed, sponsored, or affiliated with CBS Studios Inc. or the "Star Trek" franchise.